Fake smiles are going to be plastered on my face until graduation, when my real smile comes out. I’m going to hide behind my little mask and pretend like none of this is still bothering me. I’m going to ignore people and complain about them in my head. I’m gonna pretend like I’m perfectly fine, when I’m totally not and I can promise anyone on that. I’m going to put on an act for everybody, “hey, my name is kim. i’m strong. sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me” and i’ll get “bravos” from my crowd. Yeah. This is my plan.

The very last one.

Hey, I posted it on here for a reason & I know you’ll all read it. 

That’s all I have to say,actually. 

Bye.

• hey you, stop being so awkward. you’re cute af and i’m so happy to know that you two like each other. udghfdgdfkgfdsngfs. ugh. you and him would be perfect. stop looking so negatively and just soak in the cuteness and romance he brings into your life! okay? <3
• hi you. you’re so cute. you make me so happy even when you’re like such a jerk to me sometimes. please stay in my life. you mean a lot to me. trust me. no one can replace you. ugh. you’re so amazing. <3
• you. stay positive, please. just. please. you honestly don’t even know how much you mean to me. stop lingering on other thoughts. i’m always here for you, okay? just like how i know you’re always there for me. we can get through situations together. <3
• heyyyy. you inspire me and amaze me so much. you’re such a great inspiration and please don’t ever lose hope. it kills me and your fans when you do. please don’t let the negative comments get to you. when you get hate, you know you are doing something right. you are just awesome, okay? you have so many people looking up to you, it’s insane. don’t let their words bring you down, okay? and remember that he’s always watching over you as your guardian angel, so make him proud, eventhough i know for a fact that he already is. <3
• hiiiiii. treat her right. you have my sister in your hands now. please. keep her happy.
• hey. i know we have a past of love and hate where you provide the love and i provide the hate but please know that we’re gonna still be friends even though i can’t standddddd yo ass. lmao. thanks for helping me through those times i really needed a wake up call.
• hi. i’m grateful. thanks for telling me everything. i really wish i can help you with the troubles you are going through. it kills me to know that you keep constantly put yourself in pain because of these people. please don’t die on me now. i hope you come to peace with these things because they truly have no idea what’s going on from your side of the story. think positive.
• hi. you’re really sweet and kind and caring. i think you’re really awesome especially since you’re always there for me. i’m always there for you too, you know? i wanna be honest with you, i think you’re blinded by “love” and i hate how you’re being led on so easily by them. you’re not being fair to others and it just mind boggles me that you still continue. whatever happens, happens. but i won’t forget the memories and talks we had. maybe we can look back at this day and laugh but for right now, i can’t. you’ve hurt me too.
• hey. i’m gonna try to stay positive with this cause i need to let things out. you three were my best friends. i always defended you guys against people. you all were funny and awesome because you all knew how to make me laugh and smile. i trusted you with basically my life. each of you had a special place in my life, to be honest because all three of you impacted it in such an awesome way that it was definitely memorable. i don’t know what i did, but i have never talked about any of you in my life. you guys meant way too much to me for me to talk so low about. i just have one question for you guys. why me? you guys have hurt me and i feel like my high school years were a total lie now. i feel like the biggest dumbass on earth for trusting you guys. i’m just really upset with you three. i’ve never been so hurt in my life before. whatever, i guess. here are my thoughts about all of this. no, nothing can be fixed even if i wanted them to. you guys have scarred my way of thinking for life. thanks, i guess…

I never really believed the quote or phrase that you can’t trust anyone but yourself until this past week. This past week was sort of like, really terrible because I found out something that just changed my perspective and view about everyone and everything. I found out from a friend that a group of my closest friends who I thought  I could basically trust with my life, were talking mad shit about me and my boyfriend, mostly me though. I found out the shit they were saying were just really immature, stupid, disrespectful, and racist; I’m not going to even lie, it bothered me a lot, but I’m too lazy to state the specifics. The thing is, what bothered me the most was the fact that it was this group of “friends.” I felt and still feel like a total dumbass because they were the people I trusted a whole lot with my personal information and history. It saddens me so much to the point of pain. I literally cried when I found out, but then I realized that I shouldn’t have been wasting my tears on stupid people like them. Another fact is that it sucks so much to be at school now because every single time I see them, I want to kick, punch, and just take all my might to have revenge on their low-lifes, but then I realized that I’ll be friends with Karma and have it bite them back in the ass. Three of my best friends and my boyfriend all said that I shouldn’t worry about this because I’m graduating in about less than a month, which I’m terribly grateful for. Therefore, I won’t ever have to see any of their faces again. I truly have never disliked these people so much. Ugh. Whatever. I’ll have to face them until graduation comes.

Graduation, please come faster!